Tights, Tall Boots, and Pregnancy Don't Mix

So my wonderful, amazing, co-workers threw me (and Baby Girl) a shower last week.  Being the frugal girl that I am, I have purchased exactly 1 maternity dress to wear to such events.  It is sleeveless and short, but my plan was to add tights, tall boots, and a sweater if necessary as it got colder. It was a little chilly on Thursday, so I pulled out my boots and the one pair of maternity tights that I still had from when I was prego with Little Man.  Tights went on, no problem.  Boots went on, no problem.  Went to work thinking and feeling pretty darn cute!

Now, my shower wasn't until the end of the day, so I knew there would be about 46 trips to the potty that would require me to be very careful not to stick my finger through the silly tights and run them.  Well, I made it to 32 without a problem...then it happened!  My darn finger went right through them!  Crap.  But it was right around lunchtime, so I went to the store where I SWEAR I bought the original pair...and they no longer carry the maternity tights.  Super Crap.  The closest maternity store is too far to make it before I need to be back from lunch.  So I call my Mom and she doesn't have time to run and get them for me, but suggests I just buy a "plus size" pair and that they might work.  Not really my first choice, but it will have to do.  So I buy a 1x (the last one I might add, because apparently EVERYONE else thought the same thing I did about this sudden cold snap and needed a new pair of tights) and head home to put them on. 

Get home, put on new 1x tights...and presto!  Perfect.  Whew.  Now, grab something to eat, sit for a minute, re-group, head for the door.  One more glance in the mirror by the door...but wait.  What's that little white spot on the new tights?  Closer look.  Super Double Crap.  It's a hole.  In the new tights!  Run upstairs in a panic to my undies drawer throwing everything out looking for another pair that maybe might be there.  YES!  I have another pair.  They aren't maternity, but maybe if they aren't too tight it won't cut off circulation to Baby Girl and we can manage for a few hours. 

So I sit down on the bed trying to get off my tall boot and what?  Cant. Get. The. Stupid. Zipper. Down.  What. Is. Going. On. With. These. Stupid. Boots.  Blood pressure going up, sweat coming down, necklace is suddenly too heavy, take it off, bracelets too, those are now thrown across the room. Zipper. Still. Stuck.  Dress comes off too because I can feel the sweat pooling under my bra.  Try to pull foot out without zipper coming down. Nope.  Not gonna happen. Ok. Sit. Calm. Breathe. One more try. Whew.  Zipper came down.  New 1x piece of crap tights coming off, old, not maternity tights going on.  Another sigh of relief.  They aren't too tight.  Thank goodness.  Dress back on.  Necklace back on.  Bracelets gathered from around the room, back on.

Now back to head out the door.  One more glance in the mirror.  Breathe.  Ok.  Done. 

On to my shower where I get to smile and act like non of this ever happened.