Unglued? Yep, that would be me.

So friends.  I am doing an Online Bible Study (OBS) through Proverbs 31ministries and Melissa Taylor  based on the book "Unglued" by Lisa TerKeurst.  I have never done an OBS, but it's about the only way I could make that commitment at this point in our PA school career.  Did I mention I have been calling a 'career' because it seems to be much more than a 'job' right now?  Anywho, the study focuses on WHY we, as women, allow our raw emotions to get the best of us and in effect cause us to come "unglued."  I'm only through the first 2 chapters, but WHOW Nellie!  This one is hitting me hard.

Lately, I have written about focusing on the things we are in control over and not the things we aren't.  In the past few months, I feel like I've shared some of the really crappy things that being the wife of a PA student brings and tried to shed light on the fact that we CAN control how we react to the situations as they come.  Through this book, the Lord is revealing to me that even I can't control how I react without His help.  I am guilty as charged in giving myself WAAAY too much credit in this department.  And I don't feel like I've trusted the Lord enough help me control my emotions and reactions.  Truthfully, I always saw my over-reaction as a sin, and one I've felt ashamed of.  I find myself being complimented sometimes for "what an awesome job" I'm doing at maintaining our life while Husband is completely checked ou, and yet in the back of my mind I'm re-living the horrific display of anger, rage, and verbal vomit I spewed out the other night at my husband and Little Man.  "If they only knew that, they wouldn't think I'm doing a very good job."  And there is truth in that.

But there is also MORE truth in the "Imperfect Progress" that Lisa talks about in Chapter 1.  She states that we often don't even start something because we feel like we can't do it perfect the first time.  NAIL.ON.PAIGE'S.HEAD.  I so do this.  I will think doing something so much that I NEVER even start because I don't have time to do it the way I want. Or should.  Or the only way it will be done to meet my standards of perfection.  That is NOT how God wants us to live.  And I know that.  But satan has a way of clouding those perspectives and getting the way of us allowing ourselves to make "imperfect progress" and being ok with that. Andy step forward is still a step forward.  Let me repeat, any.step.forward.is.still.a.step.forward.  Even if it is small.  THAT is imperfect progress. 

There will be set backs.  There will be needs for do-overs.  And we need to find ourselves worthy of the do-over.  I'm still working on that one.  In the meantime, this is the verse I am claiming for myself AND for you!!! 


 ".... let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us," 
Hebrews 12:1