I can't believe I'm writing these words. My husband, PAs-2, will be starting rotations on Monday. Yes, you read that correctly. We have lived to see the day when he has sat through his last lecture, studied his last power point, and taken his last block exam!
I'll be honest...there were days I didn't think we'd make it. Not because I thought Husband wasn't smart enough to pass or driven enough to study though the exhaustion. But because there were days when I thought "I cannot tell him one more time that he can do it because I DON'T CARE!" Husband told me at the very beginning that he needed me to be his biggest cheerleader. No problem, I thought. I can be positive an encouraging every day. Famous last words. It did not work like that everyday. Not even close. There were days when I had so much going on with the house, Little Man, and Baby Girl that I really didn't feel like being encouraging because he was "tired, worn out, mentally drained, spent" or any other semi-annoying complaint he could come up with. My selfish inner thoughts usually went something like this: "I'm tired too." "I'm worn out too." "I had a bad day too." "Oh, really, poor baby, you're tired from staying up late studying? Well, go to bed early. You're test isn't for another 5 days anyway." "So sorry to hear that. Ask me about my day! Oh, yeah. You don't have any room in your head to think about anything else except your next test!!!" And so on. And so on.
Every once in a while a few of those inner thoughts would turn into spoken words and the result would not be pretty. It would always end in a fight. It wasn't that I didn't want to be supportive, but I needed some support too. And unfortunately for the wife of a driven-perfectionist-full-time-student, that driven-perfectionist-full-time-student is NOT where the support is going to come from.
This is the biggest lesson I've learned from PA school, and why I tell all new PA student wives/girlfriends to set up your support system quickly! Even though you may have a rock solid marriage and you have gone through hard times before and he's been the greatest support through every step (yada yada)...you are going to need an outside source to listen to you vent and not be judgmental. I have found that other PA wives have been my greatest support and the most unbiased. Love my mom dearly, but using her as a sounding board has not always been the wisest decision on my part. She loves me too much and is always to going to take my side and can find it hard to forgive/forget what she hears. The same is true of my longtime girlfriends. They don't always understand that Husband just has to study. And that there is no deviation from that study time. And no, he's not going to give up studying even for the first t-ball game of the season. Or that friends birthday dinner. Or that family reunion. Or that whatever event that you think is so important and can't imagine how any father in their right mind would miss. School comes first. Period. If you are reading this and your husband is about to start PA school, please heed this advice. Find other wives who are willing to listen and share. They will save your sanity!
Enough about that! We have to celebrate! Boot Party is this Friday and my bestie fellow PA Wife is keeping the kids so that we can have a night out dancing and enjoying the last weekend before rotations. Husband's class has worked hard fundraising and is throwing themselves a big party to celebrate getting "Booted" out of the classroom and into rotations! I'm so excited. And I get to wear a cute dress and fabulous shoes! Nights like this will make it all worth it!
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