The Ah-Ha Moment

So Husband's PA school does something really cool (and very borderline sorority girl).  They assign 2nd year PA students to be "Bigs" to 1st year PA students "Littles"...anyone back in the sorority house with me?  Ok.  So Husband talked to his "little" the other night and they have a lot in common.  Both married, both have little boys, and they both went to a university I won't name (hint starts with Texas and ends with Tech). I do not think there could be a better "Little" for Husband!

So naturally, I reached out to his wife.  Not to be "besties," just to offer an ear to hear and a few words of encouragement (and warning).  I still keep in touch with Husbands Bigs Wife and she keeps me encouraged by letting me know how her husabands rotations are going.  That in an of itself is a light at the end of the tunnel for us!  In emailing Husbands Little's Wife back and forth, it really brought me back to how I felt at the very beginning of this whole THANG.  I remember everyone telling me so many different things about how I would feel, how Husband would act, and what I should and shouldn't do.  Taking in all of the advice was really overwhelming so I did what every southern woman would do.  I ignored it.  I thought "I'm stronger than that" and "I don't need Husband that much" and a few "I can do this by myself"'s in there. 

That lasted all of 2 weeks.  YES, read 2 WEEKS.  It was the second weekend of PA school and Husband had been studying all day on Saturday (which is still a normal occurrence).  We had dinner plans for Saturday night to go to some friends house.  We'd had the plans all week and I had only reminded Husband 156 times.  So I just KNEW that he would take a break and come to dinner.  As our time of departure came closer, I was getting texts from Husband that he was running behind and that he would now meet us there.  So Little Man and I headed to our friends house...still sure that Husband would be there not long after we got there.  When "that" text came, then the call...he wouldn't be there.  He just HAD to study...I lost it.  Not at Husband...oh no...I'm too proud to do that.  I simply cried in the car before Little Man I got to our friends house.  Now, I didn't cry like the overly dramatic Real Housewife of OC the other night (you know the one who missed her husband so much she spent the night in the bathroom...that's just stupid). 

I just had my moment of frustration and then...the "AH HA."  That realization that everything I had been told WAS in fact true.  Husband would be studying non-stop.  I would be doing social things on my own with Little Man.  Our lives really had changed.  And I could not do it alone.  So the take away lesson is that I have to lean on friends and family when I need it. And I've learned that I'm stronger than I thought in those first few months.